It's amazing how things can change so quickly. I was laid-off shortly thereafter and, along with other drastic changes in my life - all of which came in rapid-fire succession - I found myself in a very dark, bewildering place. My mom likes to say that life rewards action, which I'm pretty sure she got from Dr. Phil. But it's true, and even though I was in a dark place, I knew that I had to continue on and figure it out. Stopping isn't an option in life. So I kept on going. I took a Spanish class. I started writing a blog (right here!). I expanded my circle of friends. And, at some point, that very long, extended winter we had ended and I find myself on the other end of it all, experiencing a very different life than 11 months ago.
Would I change anything from the last 11 months? Oh, maybe a couple things I wouldn't have given up on so easily. But that's life for you: you grow and grow and grow. You never stop. Or at least you shouldn't.
I've been asked over and over again if I'm excited or nervous about this move to France. And the answer is yes. I'm both of those things at different times. The moments of excitement hit me at the most unlikely moments, right out of the blue: as I'm getting into my car or when I'm sitting at my desk. And in those moments, I know I'm doing something really great for myself.
The nerves, however, are more ubiquitous and all the anxiety associated with moving to a new, unknown reality, linger around me most of the time now. But that's not a bad thing. Fear isn't always a terrible feeling. It's tells us we're alive. It tells us that we're taking risks in our life. The bad kind of fear comes from the fear of doing anything at all. Of being so afraid to change anything about your life, that you become stuck in the same place, immovable where you are. I've felt that fear, too, and prefer where I am now.
Eleven months ago I took a leap and, in ten days, I will start a brand new adventure for myself. Same journey, new chapter. I'm feeling pretty lucky, actually. Tonight I'll go out with a group of friends to celebrate. When I arrive in Paris (almost to my destination), I'll be greeted by a long time friend and together, we'll celebrate a new beginning. I'm very lucky, indeed to have friendships that traverse continents. Lucky, indeed.
In the midst of running around trying to get all my things together, there have been a few changes around here. Our kitchen is completely torn apart and renovation is officially begun! Finally! Expcet now we have no oven, which means no baking. :( Also (and much more self-involved) I changed the color of my hair. I am now very very brunette. Not just a little like I used to be. ;)